You’ll never guess what this wee Catgirl got from her sweetie for her birthday this year!! OMG…. I’m still crazy with excitement even now and I can’t wait any longer to share the news with all my Gentle Visitors…. Are you ready for this? (Breathe Miyuki… breathe!! No passing out now!)
I got a proposal!! I’m going to be a bride!! ♥♥♥ Eeeeeeehh!!♥♥♥
Just when I didn’t think she could surprise me on my birthday with anything that would blow me away and top all the wonderful things she’s ever done for lil’ ol’ me over the years, Carolyn came out of left field and decided she wanted this silly kitten to be hers… all official and happily forever after!
It’s been torture waiting till now to post on this… but I had to work today and this is the first chance I got to put it all down properly. I’m bubbling with happiness and more scatterbrained than usual as I sit at the keyboard (Is that even possible?)… so bear with me if you can as I ramble on and dish on all the sweet romantic details just for you!! ♥♥♥ Eeeeeeehh!!♥♥♥ 😉
My birthday…. It’s my 41st this year so it’s safe to say that although I may officially not be an “Old Maid” quite yet, I was definitely aware of the notion that I was certainly in serious danger of heading that way. Since Carolyn and I became a serious committed couple that thought had quietly slipped into the background of my mind but never really went away. Instead it lurked about in my head reminding me of how…. once upon a time… I almost was a bride once before…..
That was years and years ago. Waaaaaay, waaaay back in my first year of college when this wee lil’ lady first thought she might have found “True Love”…. only to have my usually infallible instincts, for once, fail me and just about crush my heart to shambles. Love is a wonderful thing…. it can give you the greatest joy you’ll ever know, but it can also give you the greatest pain you’ll ever feel too….. and I’ve had both.
I don’t think about Michael, my ex fiance, very much anymore. I think my experience with him might just be the main reason I’ve always felt “unlucky in love” since those college years. I definitely know it’s why I’ve had difficulty trusting all the other men I dated over the years since him. I never really realized that he tore a big hole in my heart back then that never healed. Instead I just did what neurotic little me has always done… I just moved on and made certain to keep potential lovers at arms length from then on so I’d never make the same mistake again. All without even being aware of it.
Michael wasn’t my first boyfriend… wasn’t even my first lover. But… fresh faced and on my own for the first time at college, he was handsome and sexy and seemed to be everything a girl could want. I know I certainly did… and when, after months of dating my freshman year, he popped the question, my instincts immediately told me to go for it. I’ve always trusted my instincts…. still do for the most part.. but in this particular case I couldn’t possibly have been more wrong. Oh… Michael was serious… he was looking for a wife, and I fit the job description perfectly for the future he saw for himself once college was over and done. Problem is… he never loved me. Not the way I had come to love him in my naive way. I’m the kind of girl who doesn’t love half-way… I always wear my heart on my sleeve and give my feelings completely, holding nothing back… not even for myself.
So… when he betrayed me in the stupidest, most cruel way possible, it took me completely by surprise. And it crushed me. Yep. Not only that… but the other woman I caught him in bed with was one of the other girls in my very own dorm suite… someone I had considered a friend up until that point. So much for my instincts, eh?….
Even waaaay back then Carolyn… my roommate at the time… was there. I never knew that she was attracted to me then… and to her credit, she chose to put those feelings aside to try to be my best friend and help me when I thought my world was ending. She did her best… but I’ve always been an emotionally intense woman and the strain of that break-up finished off my college chances by the end of that semester.
So… with my grades a mess, my student aid at an end, I left college and embarked upon the road that led to the career of Cook that I have today. And somehow…. always staying nearby to be my one true friend…. was Carolyn. Waiting for her chance to be so much more than just that.
We’ve come a long way, she and I, since those days. I’m still amazed she never gave up on me… continuing to be my friend, my confidant… waiting patiently till I was willing to see what she’s always seen. That we were meant to be together. So… I suppose I shouldn’t have been so surprised by my sweetie’s latest… but I was!!
I knew she had something up her sleeve. Carolyn’s been acting all cagey since well before Christmas, and when we were at Sandra’s I sensed it strongly. That vibe…. coming not just from Carolyn but from Sandra as well. She’d obviously told her sister all about this decision… gotten her opinion and her advice… and then kept lil’ ol’ me in the dark, waiting to spring it on me.
My birthday came… and as usual, I took the day off from work to make my Special day my own. Carolyn already had that day off as well… and so we spent it together, with an extra nice excursion to our favorite restaurant for an intimate meal. Nothing novel or new… and I had wondered if I’d simply read more into things than was there. I got my present from her… a pretty pair of ivory hair-sticks with coin tassels. Really beautiful and just the thing now that my hair has grown out long enough for me to wear them. Nice… but still not what I’d been expecting.
But…. that night after we’d slipped into bed together and we were all cozy and warm she got close and started trembling. Then she said it. “Miyu… I know it’s your birthday and I know you deserve the presents but I want to ask you for something. Something I want more than anything else. I’ve been thinking about it ever since your Mom mentioned it a while back. I really want to be your wife…. and I want you to be mine.Would you want to marry me?”
There was a moment. And I felt it. That feeling…. a feeling I’ve never experienced with anyone else until Carolyn. Never. Till now. With her and her alone. That feeling that tells me this time it’s for real.
There’s no one word to describe it in English…. the closest I’ve ever read about it is a word in Tagalog. “Kilig”. That sudden rush of melting happiness that is so paralyzingly romantic that it leaves you breathless and shivering… and I knew what I wanted immediately. “Yes!!”…. I said it. No hesitation… no doubts… my instincts telling me this was what I should always have wanted. I squeezed Carolyn and held her and we stayed that way for the longest time.
We kissed and cuddled and she told me she had been thinking about this idea for a few months now. I asked her about her Mom…. about how maybe she’d want to patch things up with her first before we did this step, but she said she’d waited 16 years to tell me she loved me, and she wasn’t waiting another 16 years to ask me to be her bride…. we’ve wasted enough time.
Well…. needless to say I didn’t get much sleep the rest of that night. If it hadn’t have been 2 in the morning I’d have called my parents right then to give than the news….. (Mind you… I did text Sam from the bathroom… I just had to tell someone!!! I swear…. I’d have died from excitement if I hadn’t!!)
Sam was suitably excited for me, but my Mom was even happier when I called them this morning to give them the news. She immediately went into full-on “Mom mode”… Were we going to come out to California for the wedding?… were we having it here?… Could she be the “Mother of the Brides”? All the important stuff, Hehehe!!
It took a bit to calm her down… let her know that although it is going to happen…. we have a while to work things out. So many things…. and I know we haven’t even scratched the surface of what we’ll need to decide… Sigh…
So… that’s the “Big News”. I’m going to be a bride!! Next up… “Happily Ever After!!♥♥ 🙂