Whew….. Time for a quick Diary update, a bit early this week…. but then this time out I actually have something different to share instead of my usually boring day-to-day routine. Yep…. Got me one heck of a surprise last evening at the restaurant when your Favorite Catgirl Princess got to star in her own personal edition of “When Animals Attack!!”
While taking out some garbage to our dumpster in the alleyway behind the restaurant around closing time, I accidentally managed to go into “ultra catgirl stealth mode” without really meaning to… allowing me to sneak right up on a big ol’ raccoon in the dumpster looking for some gourmet “previously owned” yummy bits to scarf down. Let’s just say, he wasn’t pleased to get caught at his late-night snack binge and went all “fuzzy woodland critter” on my butt.
Ever wonder who might win in the ultimate no-holds-barred primeval Battle Royale of Catgirl vs. Raccoon? Why then you’ll want to “Read On” and find out!
So anyways… there I was, clutching a trashcan, having flipped up the lid on one half of the dumpster face to face with a rather shocked raccoon clutching his dinner. He looked at me…. I looked at him…. then the terrible, pissed off, freaky raccoon noises began. Harmless fuzzy woodland critter my butt!
I suppose it’s partly my fault. Living in a small town, we experience a certain… closeness … with nature that occasionally, perhaps, gets a wee bit tooooo close for comfort. I’ve seen deer in the middle of town placidly nibbling grass on someone’s front lawn…. skunks…. weasels… you name it, I’ve seen it. But always at a safe, comfortable, “awww, ain’t they soooo darn cute” range. Not two feet away…. and never quite this pissed off.
The next minute or so is a bit of a blur…. There was a lot of screaming (all mine)…. and I got to find out just how pathetic a Rubbermaid trashcan is for any serious combat. Next time I find myself in this situation, I’m thinking I’m going to want something a bit…. more “action heroine-y”, like a katana…. or an uzi… or maybe a flamethrower. Yeah… now that’s the ticket… a flamethrower…. “Eat flaming hot napalm, you wicked, evil forest critter!!”
But…. given that I did have only a trashcan, it should come as no surprise that the Raccoon managed to press his attack enough to pierce my pathetic defense and actually knock me down. Mind you… I am a fairly petite woman… and he was a really big ‘coon…. I just wish he’d have been content with grabbing his food and making an escape instead of getting a good grip on my right leg and doing a number on me first.
Yes…. I got the right leg of my jeans shredded, and several nasty scratches… and a bite as well. Then he ran away…. We all know what that means… right? Another unplanned nighttime trip to the emergency room and the beginning of the fun series of Rabies shots that come with this sort of injury. Not exactly what my Monday night should have been… I can tell you.
Sigh… At least Carolyn thought the whole thing was kind of funny when she showed up at the hospital to pick me up afterward. She kept telling me all the way home that she’d already promised to shoot me right between the eyes if I ever went all rabid and cannibal…. but I could tell she was mostly relieved I was alright.
So now I’ve got some bandages on my leg and I’m all sore…. and I’m not even really hurt badly enough to take any time off from work. Darn….
At least now I’ll be able to say I’ve really had all my shots….. and I won’t go all crazy. Gotta look at the bright side…. 🙂
Till next time…. “Meow, meow for now!!”