Ever heard a movie title that just screamed and begged to be made? Remember“Lesbian Vampire Killers”? That was just such a crazy, naughty, fun sounding title… and unfortunately it didn’t live up to the bright exploitative promise it had. So what sort of shot does our “Zombielicious” film this time out, “Zombie Women of Satan” have then?
Our quick synopsis goes sorta like this: “When a bizarre group of burlesque nightclub performers – including Pervo the clown, ringmaster Johnny Dee Hellfire, Zeus the flatulent dwarf strongman, burlesque dancer Harmony Starr, and Skye, a feisty rocker chick – all arrive at a remote farm for an Internet TV interview, they soon discover the dark forbidding secret of the sinister family who live there. In truth they are the leaders of a perverted, crazed cult who have been kidnapping and experimenting on the gorgeous young women who have been lured into their clutches.
However, the cult’s experiments have gone terribly wrong, and now the stocking clad women have all mutated into ravenous ZOMBIES! Trapped, our ragtag group must somehow unite in a desperate bid to stay alive… or fall victim to the undead hunger of the Zombie Women of Satan!”
I tend to be fairly low brow in my movie tastes…. Ok, so maybe I’m more than a little easily drawn to watch the trashier movies out there…. but hey, I’m an apologetically obsessed horror movie lover with more than a little whimsy in my soul and a soft spot for the truly tasteless. As long as they look really, really dumb and fun….. I may be just guessing, but this one certainly looks like “stupid and mindless” might just be it’s middle name…..
Luckily for you, Neko’s more than willing to take a chance of rotting her poor lil’ brain with a look at this one so that maybe you, Gentle Visitors, can spare yourselves the effort if it turns out to be more “crap” than “craptastic”…. Wanna learn more? Then you know the drill by now.
Pretty much from the beginning, this one lets you know it’s not shooting for the stars…. but then that’s not really a swipe at it in any way, shape, or form. Writer/Director and star Warren Speed is a colorful character in his own right, as just one look at the “Making of” feature will show you. He clearly loves the absolute absurdity of the genre and somehow managed to come up with a feature film costing just about £70,000…. something that far more skilled directors with bigger budgets sometimes screw up. Mind you… it certainly helps when you are personally acquainted with a subculture of real burlesque performers and freak show denizens when you are casting about for actors for a low budget exploitation horror film. These people are talented…. just not at acting, and certainly are interesting taken as a whole.
Our story? Ummmm? Ahhhh? Let’s just say your Favorite Catgirl has seen far more coherent ones before, but this one actually works for the most part if you are willing to accept the utter absurdity of it all. You know Neko’s basic rule: “Just Go With It….”. Asking a lot of silly questions will only open up even more holes in the plot and then where are you? Absolutely nowhere you wanted to get to when you sat down to watch a movie with a title like “Zombie Women of Satan”. Nope…. best to simply put the ol’ brain on hold, sit back, relax, and let this one happen. Trust me.
Basically, “Zombie Women of Satan” does one thing perfectly. It does deliver on it’s title at least. Our movie is chock filled with scantily clad cannibal zombie ladies (some pretty, but most looking like the tired ex-strippers they really are)….. who spend the entire film doing just what one wants zombies to do….. chase our cast around and try to eat them all the while getting destroyed by our heroes in various suitably grisly ways. Along the way, we get some large doses of potty humor, some mildly funny (like our dwarf friend and his “irritable bowel syndrome” producing a pile of crap as large as himself out in the woods), others just sort of repulsive (like the zombie rape scene, or the crazy cult’s insane incestuous mother chained in the cellar laboratory by dear ol’ dad), and most falling somewhat flat in between.
Ultimately, for me at least, the success or failure of a movie like this lies in the characters…. There had better be at least one of them you actually like, and truly want to see survive, or the entire effort fails miserably. The closest character fitting that description here is that of our rocker girl Skye Branningan (played by Victoria Hopkins) searching for the connection between the disappearance of her younger sister and the evil cult. Naturally it turns out that she’s one of the innocent, confused girls who’ve been tricked into joining the cult and becoming the unwitting sex toys of Tycho Zander, the cult’s nominal leader. As a heroine, Skye is mildly acceptable in that “tough chick” sort of way, but never really managed to illicit the sympathy to truly pull it off. Her sister? There’s even less character development there…. we never even get a convincing explanation as to why she ran off to join the crazy cult in the first place if her sister truly does care for her as much as would seem to be the case.
The gore effects are nice…. given the budget here… but nothing particularly special.
I’m thinking the best scene in the whole film had to be the dining room scene where the girls all accidentally get served punch spiked with the zombie serum dear ol’ Professor Zander is working on and all mutate into flesh munching fiends. It soon results in a free-for-all catfight of grisly proportions ending up with the whole bevy of girls roaming off in search of victims…. including one zombie girl in a wheelchair who’s very existence is probably the single funniest thing in the entire film.
Overall, “Zombie Women of Satan” is exactly what it would appear to be. A fairly average exercise in Zombie movie fun. If you don’t go into this one thinking you’ll be watching the next “Shawn of the Dead” you’ll probably get exactly the experience you were looking for. Not bad, not good, just a quickie exploitation film made just to have a laugh and make a quick buck. Neko gives it 2 “Meows” out of 5 for going for it, even if it did fail for the most part. You, Gentle Visitors, might be better advised to do this one as rental, and please…. have some wine coolers on ice when you do, it’ll really help.
Here’s the Trailer in all it’s nasty zombie goodness!