Now you all know how much your Favorite Catgirl Princess thrives on trashy, tasteless, exploitative Asian cinema so when “The Girls Rebel Force of Competitive Swimmers” popped up on DVD of course Neko-chan had to snatch it up immediately.
Japanese schoolgirls…. zombies….. gore…. evil villains with unwholesome plans for World Domination……everything this nutty Catgirl needs for a baaad, baaad evening of movie viewing.
At least you would think so…..
Unfortunately, the poster is probably the best thing about this film….. The movie itself is…. well…. Ummm?….. Errr?…. Kinda below even Neko’s admittedly low standards for entertainment.
The synopsis for this one reads:“The Girls Rebel Force of Competitive Swimmers” stars Handa Sasa as a comely schoolgirl with a shadowy past, recently transferred into a new school. She is convinced by her friend to join the swim team, but their trophy dreams are rudely interrupted by a virus that is spreading in the school and a series of mysterious events. Thrown into grave danger as the sinister truth is slowly revealed, the girls of the swimming team decide to fight back with everything they’ve got.”
Sounds promising right? Unfortunately this one is nothing more than a set up for a seriously bad Japanese soft porn film. There are Zombies alright…. at least there are a dozen or so. The swim team never gets to fight any of them though…. they all get killed within minutes of deciding to declare war… by just one single Zombie teacher. That’s right, our heroines get slaughtered without destroying a single Zombie. AAAAUUUUGHHHHH!!!
This one is just a crappy jiggle fest featuring some soft porn Lesbian sex, and a bunch of really creepy rape scenes with the villain that just made Neko cringe and squirm uncomfortably….. I almost gave up on watching it at several points, but having promised to review it, I stuck it out to the very end……. (Sigh, the things I do for DV…)
I could try to dissect the plot for you, but trust me it isn’t worth it. The effects? Well, they were good for a made-for-video release but nothing special. The acting? Let’s just not go there….. This one belongs on those late night cable TV channels hungry for some T&A action of the weirdly fetishistic “yellow fever” genre.
Neko-chan isn’t a prude or anything…. and I do actually like a bit of racy spice in an exploitation film, but this one was just plain stupid…… To think I almost asked some friends over to my place for a “movie night” when this one arrived…. I never would have been able to look them in the face again. Most of them already think I am one strange girl….this would have just about ruined my reputation completely.
Neko gives this one her lowest possibly score. 1 “Meow” out of 5 with at least several angry hisses for not giving me any real Zombie battling action which could have elevated this to the level of memorably bad stuff to watch while really drunk…… (and I could never get tipsy enough for this one ever again…) Instead Neko recommends the one Japanese schoolgirl/ zombie combo worth viewing “Stacy”. Now there’s a film….
There is a Trailer available….but I’m not even gonna show it to you. Instead I send you to Gomorrahy.com if you want to read more on this one and check that out.