“Bait 3D” (2012) – Australian Shark Horror/ Suspense

Back from our Christmas Holiday fun and games… and right back at things with a look at the new Aussie “Killer Sharks in a Shopping Mall” horror effort, “Bait: 3D” courtesy of one of the DVD’s this wee Catgirl got for a present this festive Christmas season.

Our synopsis goes along these lines: “A massive tsunami drowns a sleepy Australian beach community. A small group of survivors find themselves trapped in a flooded underground supermarket and soon discover they are not alone, the tsunami has brought along with it deadly unwanted visitors from the depths. It isn’t long before survivors quickly realize their battle is not only to overcome the threat of drowning, but a threat far more sinister – a couple of enormous and hungry great white sharks.”

Yep…  I just knew I was gonna get this one. It was on my list to pick up just as soon as it “made landfall” this month… but…. then I got a call a couple weeks back from Sandra telling lil’ ol’ me that I might want to wait on it. Seems Maddie and Adam wanted to buy some movies for Aunt Miyuki as a Christmas present and darn it…. even if it spoiled the surprise, there was really only one way to make certain a certain lil’ Catgirl didn’t already have this particular one. OK… OK… So could I disappoint the kids? Not and remain their favorite “cool Aunt”…. Oh well… at least it meant we’d get a chance for a “Family Movie Night” together during our visit.

Hmmmm? Killer sharks for Christmas?… Don’t know about you, but that idea sounded pretty sweet to this lady. Wanna know if the kids scored me a good one for their favorite Aunt? Then all you gotta do is “Read On” and find out….

“Iron Sky” (2012) – Finnish-German-Australian Exploitation Sci-fi Action/ Comedy

Yep… this wee Catgirl has always believed that outside of Zombies, there really is only one other cinema menace worthy of goofy movie exploitation villainy that always satisfies… well… just about everybody. Those evil, nasty, thoroughly despicable Nazis. Sooooo darn evil. So obsessed with that notion of “world domination”….. And with such snazzy villainous costumes too. Even Darth Vader only wishes he had that much style and wicked panache. So…. would a certain goofy kitten ever think of missing any movie about an invasion of evil Nazis…. in honest-to-goodness flying saucers….  from the Moon? Are you kidding?

Our synopsis? Well OK…. here goes: “In the last desperate days of World War II, a secret Nazi space program evaded destruction by fleeing to the Dark Side of the Moon. During 70 years of utter secrecy, the Nazis construct a gigantic space fortress with a massive armada of flying saucers.

When American astronaut James Washington (Christopher Kirby) puts down his Lunar Lander a bit too close to the secret Nazi base, the Moon Führer (Udo Kier) decides the glorious moment of retaking the Earth has arrived sooner than expected. The Fourth Reich must act! Two Nazi officers, ruthless Klaus Adler (Götz Otto) and idealistic Renate Richter (Julia Dietze), travel to Earth to prepare the invasion. When the Moon Nazi UFO armada darkens the skies, ready to strike at the unprepared Earth, every man, woman and nation alike, must re-evaluate their priorities.”

Ummmm? Anybody think we’re looking at timeless filmaking that we should alert the Academy Awards people to? Yeah…. I’m thinking we’re on the same page here Gentle Visitors… but dang it all…. it does look all stupid and fun. Grrrr…. OK, OK…. so we all know I just had to watch. I admit it…. But that does mean if you are intrigued and tempted, you could just listen to all the silly details from lil’ ol’ me before taking the plunge yourself. Yep, it’s time to “Read On”….

“El Monstro del Mar!” (2010) – Australian Exploitation/ Horror

Hmmmm? A goofy movie spoofing all those gory 70′s “Bad Babes Gone Wild” rubber monster grindhouse horror films that this girl grew up watching on late night TV in the 80′s….. Think this wee Catgirl could pass up a chance to see a movie like that? How about if it were made in…. Australia? Ok, ok…. sign me up.

Our synopsis? How about this: “Three gorgeous but deadly femme fatales, Beretta, Blondie and Snowball, hole up in a small beach-side community after their latest murderous spree attracts the wrong kind of attention. But not all is as it seems here in this small town. A few of the locals try desperately to warn them of the dangers of going into the water but these wanton vixens will listen to no one’s advice and they brazenly take to the sea. Unknown to them however, their wild seaside frolic has awakened a horrifying beast from the depths of the ocean. It isn’t long before these sexy sirens are hip-deep in trouble as the sea itself rises in a tidal wave of blood and they face the fight of their lives against the terrifying Kraken. …El Monstro del Mar!”

Originally released on an Australian Region 4 DVD, importing such a crazy lil’ film was just too much for this wee Catgirl’s budget to handle… Thankfully, it wasn’t all that long before a much more price friendly Region 1 DVD came along for me to snatch a copy of. Am I expecting a cinematic masterpiece for all the ages? Nawwww…. but I do think I’ll catch some goofy exploitation goodness all wrapped up in a bit of nostalgic homage to the brain rotting “guilty pleasure” films of my somewhat miss-spent youth. Never a bad thing….

Have some memories of your own of those terrible video nasties your Mom or Dad never wanted you to watch when you were an impressionable youth? Then you’d better “Read On”… ’cause I’ll bet you won’t want to miss this one either…

Primal (2010) – Australian Horror

Sigh… Seems Winter is determined to keep pounding poor lil’ me with it’s frigid fury these days, but it only makes “Movie Nite” all that much more enjoyable. Since that means a cuddle with my sweetie, Carolyn, every now and again your Favorite Catgirl needs a movie where all the people speak English…. or at least English with an accent….. just for her to be able to enjoy it too. Luckily… I can get that and my much needed fix of gory fun with the new Region 1 DVD release for the Australian horror movie “Primal”.

Our synopsis for it goes along these lines: “A group of friends venture into the wilds of Australia to study an ancient aboriginal rock painting, and come face to face with ancient evil when one of them experiences a terrifying transformation. The expedition was routine until one of the girls decides to go skinny-dipping in a nearby billabong, and is attacked by a swarm of bloodsucking leeches. Later, when she starts to sprout razor sharp teeth and appears to turn rabid, her friends become the prey in a vicious, bloody hunt. Before long another one of them begins showing signs of infection, prompting the rest of the group to fight for their lives with everything they’ve got. Retreating into a cave as a last, desperate measure, the remaining survivors discover that the mysterious painting they came to study was an ancient warning…. a warning they’ve come to comprehend far too late….”

Hehehehe!! Now… this one sounds good! And by good, naturally your Favorite Catgirl Movie Fanatic means super gooey, bloody, scary, and ever sooo much fun!! I’m not certain Carolyn will like it as much as me…. but she’s a good sport, and a second movie, more her style, awaits our viewing right afterward, so it’s all good!

But you, Gentle Visitors, are probably more interested in the flesh chomping crazy fun to be had too….. (Awwww, c’mon!! Admit it…. Neko knows you soooo well….) So to learn all about this one, you just know already that you’ll want to “Read On”!!

“Razorback” (1984) – Australian Cult/ Horror

This time out our “Halloween Review-athon” takes us on a trip way, waaay back to your Favorite Catgirl’s misspent youth for a “Lil’ Kitten Classics” look at when Giant Killers Pigs roamed the desolate Australian Outback in search of human prey… at least in the movies…

Giant Killer pigs from down under? Yep… back in 1984 this one snuck out of the “Land down Under” and tried it’s best to convince us all that crazy man-eating wild pigs were scary. If my memory serves me right, I was a wee impressionable girl of 11 the year this one hit video, and naturally…. when it was my turn to pick a film for family movie night, one look at the cover convinced me there could really be no other choice. I can still hear Grandma now…. “Miyuki!! Giant pig movie not good!! Little girls not to watch these things! You need to pick better movie.”

But nooooo!! Lil’ Miyuki would have none of that… so we did indeed spend an evening watching Gregory Harrison save Australia from the “Giant Pig Menace”….. much to my poor Grandma’s dismay. I thought it was great…. and my dad sorta liked it too…. but Mom and Grandma took it as another sign of just how American I was growing up to be despite their best efforts to make me into a proper lil’ Japanese girl.

It’s out on DVD… and I was lucky enough to score the Region Free PAL formatted Australian release for it. So…. the only question remains, “Is Carolyn ready to share this treasured childhood memory with me?” Hehehehe…. I sure hope so, ’cause ready or not, here comes “Razorback”!!

“Rogue” (2007) – Austrailian Suspense/ Horror

A movie about a gigantic killer crocodile stalking and eating tourists lost in the Australian outback….. Oooooohhh! That never gets old!

Would your Favorite Catgirl movie geek miss this one? Nope…. not a chance…. Will she wait for August to get her lil’ paws on the Region 1 release? Nope…. not when it’s already out in Australia on Region 4, you silly people!!

This one appears to be the big budget answer to last years lil’ sleeper hit “Black Water” which also deals with the very scary… and very real menace, to be experienced when dealing with the local wildlife of Australia’s Northern Territory.

Neko-chan picked up that one, and was scared silly by it, despite it’s low budget and small cast. Can Greg McLean, who made a splash among horror fans in 2005 with his ultra gory debut film, “Wolf Creek” pull off another hit with “Rogue”?

Let’s “Read On” and find out!!