“13 Assassins” (2010) – Japanese Samurai Swordplay Action/ Drama

Whew!! Well it certainly took me long enough to get this one written, but here we go with your Favorite Catgirl’s impressions of the new Chambara drama by cult director Takeshi Miike, “13 Assassins”. Flashing swords, bloody death, and a brave stand of a few brave men against seemingly impossible odds…..

Our synopsis? How about this: “The year is 1844. A vicious nobleman rapes and kills with impunity, shielded from punishment by virtue of his political connections. Although the era of the samurai is fading and coming to an end, one honest government official is still able to enlist the aid of thirteen honorable swordsmen in secrecy. Their mission? Nothing less than to assassinate this sadistic lord whatever the cost, before he can seize even more power and become untouchable…. above anyone’s power to keep in check and a threat that would poison the nation’s very soul. With time running out and against impossible odds, these assassins lay a deadly trap for the lord and his army of bodyguards in a booby-trapped village of death, culminating in one of the bloodiest, muddiest sword-fights ever put to film.”

Sound a bit “Seven Samurai” to you too? Yep… this one seems to want to channel the spirit of that old Kurosawa film and lots of other 70′s Chambara classics. You know the ones… lots of stern faced Japanese guys (and even a few girls..) facing the idea of inescapable death to achieve Honor and restore Justice. There’s something primal and heroic about that…. and it resonates through the Chambara film in a way that only the best Spaghetti Westerns ever seemed to truly understand. Mind you… most of the best of the Spaghetti Westerns were even adapted from these old Japanese swordplay films. But… at their heart, both genres were about staring Death right in the face without flinching and going for it full on… even knowing you probably wouldn’t succeed.

So does this one have the “warrior spirit”? One way to find out, and that’s to follow this crazy Catgirl on a journey to Feudal Japan, where perhaps Death came easy… and life was sometimes cheap… but Honor and Duty were priceless treasures beyond value.

“Space Battleship Yamato” (2010) – Japanese SciFi/ Action

This time, it’s off to Japan for the recent live-action big budget blockbuster remake of an old Anime classic, “Space Battleship Yamato”. If you are as big an Anime fan as this lil’ Catgirl, then you’ve already heard about this one, and have probably been waiting for it as eagerly as me… well, it’s finally out on Hong Kong Region 3 DVD (and even Blu-Ray) with those ever so handy English subtitles we all cross our fingers and hope for.

The story? Well, if you aren’t familiar with the old Anime, then here it goes: “In the future, the human race stands on the brink of extinction at the hands of unknown and unstoppable alien invaders the Gamilas. Enduring ceaseless bombardment from deep space has left mankind trapped on a radiation-soaked, nigh-uninhabitable Earth. But one hope remains, the message of a device supposedly capable of cleansing the poisoned Earth sent by a benevolent alien race, located on the distant planet of Iscandar somewhere far beyond our galaxy.

Earth’s only remaining hope is the last giant star-cruising battleship in her possession, the resurrected WW2 Japanese battleship Yamato, now refitted with a warp engine and armed with the Wave Motion cannon capable of incredible mass destruction, the first help from far off Iskandar. To accomplish this seemingly impossible task, the Yamato is hastily launched with a ragtag crew of personnel, including angst-ridden fighter pilot Susumu Kodai (Takuya Kimura), Captain Okita (Tsutomu Yamazaki), and sexy fighter pilot Yuki (Meisa Kuroki). With them, the Yamato must race against time and battle it’s way across enemy controlled space to find Iskandar, save the dying Earth, and ultimately defeat the evil Gamilas once and for all.”

Yep…. that’s pretty much the way I remember the plot of the old TV show. So will such a classic Anime successfully translate from the animated small screen to the big budget movie screen? Guess your truly will just have to take a look and find out.

"Higanjima: Escape from Vampire Island" (2010) – Japanese Horror/ Action

January slides away and February is almost upon us but the movies still keep gettin’ watched here at your Favorite Catgirl’s place as winter winds down. So…..how about a Japanese Horror film this time out? For that, I’ve got “Higanjima: Escape From Vampire Island” fresh from it’s Region 2 UK release by Manga Films.

Our synopsis for it goes like this: “Two years after his older brother, Atsushi, goes missing under mysterious circumstances, Akira meets a beautiful woman, Rei, who is in possession of Atsushi’s ID card and claims he is still alive and can be found on the remote, uncharted Japanese island of Higanjima. Desperate to see his brother once again, Akira talks several of his friends into joining him on a trip to the island in search of Atsushi.

Arriving the friends are shocked to learn that they have been lured there as fodder for the island’s inhabitants, a race of extremely bloodthirsty vampires ruled by their leader, Miyabi. As the vampires descend upon their newly arrived prey, Akira makes a startling discovery – Atsushi really is alive and on the island, having devoted himself to becoming a vampire hunter intent on slaying Miyabi’s legions of the undead. Finally reunited, the two brothers and their friends join forces with two simple goals in mind – rid Higanjima of its Vampire population and find a way to escape from the island without dying (or worse being reborn as the living dead) in the process!”

Sounds like Neko’s cup of tea alright…. and I’m thinking it’ll have one of those simple Anime inspired plots that Carolyn won’t have trouble following either. Hopefully it’ll be a nice lil’ creepy actioner with sufficient thrills and chills to keep the winter blues at bay on a cold movie night here at the apartment. Wanna know if you’d like it too? Then you know what you gotta do, right? “Read On”, Gentle Visitor and find out all the exciting details you need to know!!

"Zombie Dead" aka "Zonbi Dead" (2008) – Japanese Heroine/ Zombie Horror

The moon is almost full, the pumpkins all carved, but there’s still time for a few more Zombies before we all “Trick or Treat”. This time out a look at Zen Pictures entry to the Zombie genre “Zonbi Dead” (Yep, I kid you not… that’s it’s real name according to the DVD cover anyway…Hehehehe!!) an odd little “Heroine” film that got given to me as a gift a year or so ago, but one I hadn’t actually gotten around to watching yet.

Our synopsis? Well….: “A beautiful female cop wakes up from a coma in a basement room of a hospital. She remembers nothing about the abandoned place, however, suffering from amnesia. She wanders around in the deserted facility and encounters a man who has lost his memories just like her. They cooperate to find out the secret of the mysterious hospital, but there is one thing they will know about it soon enough: horrible zombies are lurking in the hospital! The man is bitten by the zombies, gets seriously wounded, and he too starts attacking the female cop, turning into a zombie himself! Can she come back alive and solve the case to know the truths behind the terrible experiments conducted in the hospital?”

This one is one of those peculiarly Japanese films made for a specific niche fetish audience, and popularly called “Heroine films”. What? You say you’ve never even heard of the “Heroine” film genre? Not surprising, unless you happen to like cheap direct-to-video soft porn movies known primarily for their lack of real plot, generally made as an excuse to see pretty women captured and subjected to torture and humiliation, and usually featuring a measure of nudity and suggestive sex. Yep… so that’s why I’ve passed on this one up till this point.

So why give it a watch now after all this time? Well… as Neko has said before, I’ll never not watch a movie based solely on my preconceptions from what I might read on the Internet. I figure I’ll probably hate it… but then if I can sit through “The Girls Rebel Force of Competitive Swimmers” and survive with my mind and dignity intact, how bad can this one really be? Seriously? (Pray for Neko-chan o’ Gentle Readers, please!! I’m gonna need it!)

"Highschool of the Dead" Eps. 1&2 (2010) – Japanese Anime TV Series

As Halloween approaches the Zombies keep rearing their rotting heads in some of the most unexpected places. Ever wonder what the Zombie Apocalypse would look like if it happened in one of those sweet Japanese High-school love story Anime Series? Sorta “Love Hina” meets “Dawn of the Dead”? Well… just the other day, my sweetie Carolyn came home from work and told me someone at the college had mentioned to her about some Japanese zombie cartoon playing on Pay cable this October… and wasn’t her roommate into that sort of stuff? (“Roommate?” Wow… I guess I must start dropping by the college more often to bring Carolyn something sweet and romantic in the way of lunch on occasion just to properly define our relationship for her colleagues… Hehehe!!)

Anyway… it turned out to be something we could actually see on our Video On Demand service… for free!! Gasp!! So naturally… cosplay lovin’ Catgirl and anime fan that I am, I wasn’t gonna pass up this chance to see even more Halloween Zombie action.

Our overall story plot seems to go sorta like this: “Highschool of the Dead” is set in present day Japan, and begins just as the world is struck by the deadly pandemic that turns humans into zombies. The story follows Takashi Komuro, a Japanese student at Fujimi High School who manages to survive the initial outbreak along with several of his fellow classmates and the school nurse. As the tiny group tries to survive the Zombie Apocalypse, they must also contend with the additional threats of overall societal collapse, taking the form of other dangerous survivors with goals of their own and the inevitable decay of the group’s own moral codes in the face of unthinkable death at the hands of the cannibal dead.”

Episodes 1 & 2 made for a great night of Zombie fun on the ol’ couch with Carolyn, who gets this girl’s love and kisses for finding out all about this and letting me in on it….(Especially since neither “cartoons” nor zombies are really her thing… and finding out they were in Japanese and subtitled to boot means that I really… really… owe my sweetie a nice gift in return!!)

Wanna here if it’s worth a look for yourself? Then all you gotta do is “Read On”!!

"Big Tits Zombie" (2010) – Japanese Zombie/Horror/Comedy

Want your zombies with a side order of silly exotic dancing and exploitative nudity? Secretly believe the best way to defeat a mindless army of flesh eating undead monsters is with a plucky group of cute Japanese strippers? OMG!! You do? No kidding?!? (God help us all….) Then “Big Tits Zombie” is probably just exactly the movie you’ve been waiting for.

Synopsis? With a title like this you mean you really need one? Honestly? OK… then here goes: “Five down-on-their-luck strippers in a customer-less club stumble across a secret passageway hidden away there that leads to The Well of the Dead and the forbidden  “Book of the Dead”. Foolishly they read the incantations from the book out loud and unknowingly manage to unleash the Undead upon the world! Only they, along with their kick-ass martial arts moves, swordplay, and chainsaws, can stop the zombie army now!”

Yep…. I think that about sums this one up. Sounds mindless… but also, so darn much fun!! The Japanese seem to have cornered the market lately on just plain whacked out strange fantasy films if efforts like “The Machine Girl”, “Robo-Geisha” and “Vampire Girl Vs. Frankenstein Girl” are any examples, so can this one be too much different? You know your Favorite Catgirl, goofy zombie movie fan that I am, isn’t gonna miss this one. Not on your life. So why not relax, kick back, and let lil’ ol’ me clue you in on the zombie hi-jinx to be had…. (Yes, yes…. and all about the strippers too… Hehehehe!!)

Pssst!! For those of you late to the game that means it’s time to “Read On”…..

“High-Kick Girl!” aka “Hai Kikku Gâru!” (2009) – Japanese Martial Art/ Action

Ooooohh! Another movie with more cute, tough girls doing Martial Arts!!…. Is Neko just a wee bit jealous of all the crazy martial art skills on display? Yeah…. but it also makes me wanna watch too! So without further adieu, lets all take a look at the new Japanese Martial Art film “High-Kick Girl!”

Its synopsis? Here we go: “A young high-school girl named Kei Tsuchida (Rina Takeda) joins a karate dojo. Born with extraordinary athletic ability, she quickly outshines her classmates. Her status in the dojo rises quickly as her abilities and strength helps her to even defeat grown men. Despite all her accomplishments, the dojo master Matsumura does not award her the coveted “Blackbelt”. It is clear to him that Kei always plays to win and only cares about combat. Matsumura tries to teach Kei that Karate is about defense more than just fighting and that “the real strength is in the kata”. Kei grows impatient. She feels that she possesses the skills and deserves her blackbelt. Kei will do whatever she has to do to get it, including besting all the best karate fighters in the area in combat.

Having finally exhausted her available opponents, she foolishly decides to join a rival fighting group called the Destroyers at the advice of her friend. Kei becomes deeply involved with Destroyers until one day she discovers the true purpose of their leader. Unknown to her, he is secretly planning a revenge attack on her master Matsumura for an old grievance. Kei is shocked and decides to warn her master. But, it is too late. The Destroyers elite fighters kidnap Kei and are on their way to destroy Matsumura. Matsumura, who has never fought in front of Kei, now must reveal his true power in order to save her. At last, the ultimate fight begins…”

Lots of karate….. lots of bone-crushing hand to hand fighting, old school style, and a pretty girl who can hold her own with the guys. I haven’t looked forward to a Japanese karate movie like this since the old “Sister Street Fighter” with the great Sue Shiomi. Could this one possibly be that much fun? We’ll certainly find out as its time to “Read On”!!

“Vampire Girl Vs. Frankenstein Girl” aka “Kyûketsu Shôjo Tai Shôjo Furanken” (2009) – Japanese Fantasy/Horror

Time for another wacky slice of crazy Japanese Exploitation Horror to sate your Favorite Catgirl’s need for the weird, bloody, and downright silly. We look at the Region 2 DVD release for “Vampire Girl Vs. Frankenstein Girl”, fresh from the latest UK DVD mail-order parcel to show up in my mailbox this week.

Ok.. Ok… I know the title pretty much sums this one up, but here goes the synopsis anyway: “Senior high school student Jyugon Mizushima receives Valentines Day chocolates from the new student, Monami. Little did she know that the chocolates contained traces of Monami’s vampire blood. He gets infected from eating them and Monami confesses that she wants to live with him forever as vampires. Meanwhile, Jyugon decides that he wants to fully become a vampire with Monami’s help. Keiko, Jyugon’s jealous girl friend, sees the two on the school rooftop kissing and in a state of hysteria, attempts to throw Monami off the roof but falls off to her own death instead.

Pretty Keiko is most certainly dead, but her father, school principal Kenji Furano, the mad scientist, resurrects her as Franken girl. Thus begins a deadly combat between the resurrected Franken Keiko and undead Vampire Monami in the name of love. As all horror fans know, this kind of Vampire vs. Frankenstein conflict can only be solved by some serious fighting, beating, stabbing, chewing, clawing and end in climactic showdown battle to the death high atop Tokyo Tower!”

Oh my goodness!! Yes…. there’s obviously not a serious bone in this movie’s whole body. Sounds like just the sort of crazy, trashy, and super gory kind of ridiculous cinematic junk food that your Favorite movie lovin’ Catgirl eats steady diet of. I’ve already got a warm feeling this is gonna be an evening of truly silly movie fun…..

Sooooo….. Think it might just be your sort of movie too? But…. not certain if you wanna risk picking up a copy for yourself? Well then….. hunker down, get comfy and let Neko tell you all about it……

“Ichi” (2008) – Japanese Swordplay/ Action

I know It’s been some time since this one came out, and naturally being the swordplay junkie I am, Neko watched it right away when I was lucky enough to grab the subtitled Malay release….

Recently though, the Region 1 Funimation release came along and, as expected, had an English dubbed audio track on board for the US audience that dreads foreign language films or subtitles. Since Carolyn hadn’t watched this one yet…. and because I wanted to surprise her with one of my goofy swordplay films…. “Gasp!! ….In English!!” , it wasn’t hard to talk myself into picking up a copy of it for us to share one evening. On the plus side… it gives your Favorite Catgirl Movie Reviewer the chance to do a comparison of both DVD’s all in one simple lil’ review.

Synopsis? Well it goes like this: “Blind and beautiful traveling entertainer Ichi (played by Ayase Haruka) has been wandering the country searching for her teacher, a blind masseur who taught her the way of the sword when she was a child. She reluctantly gains a traveling companion when kind-hearted samurai Toma (played by Osawa Takao) tries to save her from a group of thugs, and ends up needing to being saved himself.

After Ichi dispels the thugs with a flash of the lethal sword hidden in her walking stick, the two enter a village being terrorized by a gang led by the ruthless Banki (played by Nakamura Shido). Though Ichi isn’t interested in fighting, she soon gets pulled into the lethal battle between good and evil.”

I’ve always loved strong female roles in period swordplay films…. just that fierce il’ warrior spirit within me struggling to escape so naturally this one was a “must see”. How well did Funimation, known mostly as a releaser of anime here in the US,  treat this one? Hopefully with the respect such an iconic character deserves…. But enough of this… there’s really only one way to find out, so let’s get to it, shall we? “Read On”!!

“House” aka “Hausu” (1977) – Japanese Fantasy/ Horror

Here’s an odd one this time out…. 1977′s Japanese fantasy film, “House”. I’ve been aware of it for over a decade or so, but it’s one of those quirky lil’ films that seemed stubbornly destined to never ever get subtitles or be shown anywhere near my part of the world. Thank goodness that’s now at an end!! UK DVD distributor Eureka has released this one in a new Region 2 NTSC collector’s edition as pert of their “Masters of Cinema” collection. Naturally I wasted no time in snapping up a copy…..

Our synopsis goes like this: “A teenage girl named Angel discovers that her widowed father has recently begun dating again. Worse, Angel’s father has canceled the yearly summer vacation that he and Angel take every year together in order to stay near Ryoko, his new girlfriend, whom he intends on marrying soon. Furious at this situation, Angel invites her friends to come with her to her visit her long lost aunt at her remote country home.

Arriving, they discover Angel’s aunt seems to be sick and wheelchair bound, and they all agree to help fill their time fixing up her run down estate located in the woods. However, unknown to anyone, the aunt is, in reality, a vampiric witch who feeds off the flesh of young virgin girls to sustain her youth and strength. Possessing her niece, the aunt murders the girls one by one with help from her bewitched house. In the end, the aunt takes over Angel’s body so she can continue waiting for her long lost fiancee, who went M.I.A. during World War II, to finally return to her. Will any of them survive the strange horrors and escape alive?”

Wow…. now this one certainly sounds like Neko’s sort of film. I’ve always loved the creepy weirdness of 70′s Japanese ghost stories…. so I’m hoping for something along the lines of “Mansion of the Ghost Cat” or “Kuroneko”. I’ve heard however that this one is…. well… a bit stranger than the Japanese films I’m used to. Will it live up to it’s reputation and still turn out to captivate and entertain me? Guess there’s only one way to find out….

Psssst!! That’s your cue….. it’s time to “Read On”, o’ Gentle Visitors!!