“Strippers Vs. Werewolves” (2012) – British Exploitation/ Horror/ Comedy

Time for another wee bit of silly mind-rotting cinema fun and a look at the new British Horror/ comedy mash-up, “Strippers Vs. Werewolves”. What? You mean you really didn’t know that the eternal enemy of Werewolves wasn’t Vampires but Exotic Dancers instead? Well consider yourself lucky a certain goofy Catgirl was around to set the record straight and keep you all informed of such things…. Hehehe!!

Our synopsis goes along these lines: “At the “Vixens” strip club, a dancer named Justice performs a private lap dance for Mickey, a man who violates the no-touching policy … by sprouting fangs and claws and trying to eat her! Justice panics and takes the only option open to her: she drives a silver fountain pen through Mickey’s eye, into his brain, killing him instantly. Oops…

Jeanette, the club’s owner, believes murdering customers is bad for business, so she orders the club’s bouncer to quietly dispose of the body. There the matter should end … if Mickey hadn’t been a member of a bloodthirsty and vengeful pack of werewolves.

When Mickey’s corpse surfaces, Jack Ferris, the werewolves’ charming and vicious leader, swears bloody vengeance and sends his pack out to hunt down the killers. Little does he know, Justice is actually the fiancée of his second in command, Scott. To make matters worse, Justice bites Scott during sex and now may be infected with the curse of lycanthropy herself!

Add to the mix the masturbating man-child werewolf Barker, Sinclair, a nerdy occultist with low self-esteem, a few sexy Vampire girls, and a bevy of the most beautiful women this side of heaven and you have the perfect recipe for balls to the wall, skimpily clad, strippers on werewolves action-packed goodness.”

Now…. My sweetie, Carolyn, is always bugging me to find us more movies, without subtitles, where everybody speaks English for a change…. even if it does look like one of my utterly crap-tastic “guilty pleasure” baaaaad movies. Hehehe…. well… they do speak English in this one. I can at least promise her that much…..

So. What are you waiting for, silly? You can’t fool me… you know you wanna “Read On”…. a certain Catgirl Princess knows you only too well…

“L’Île : Les Naufragés de la Terre Perdue” (2011) – French Fantasy/ Adventure

February has faded away into the rear view mirror, and with March so newly upon us, it’s time for your favorite Catgirl Princess to swing by France for a look at the recent fantasy adventure “L’Île : Les Naufragés de la Terre Perdue” aka “The Isle : Castaways of the Lost Land”.

Our synopsis: “The Atlantic Ocean 1942: After the crash landing of their plane which was to take them to South America and to save them from the German occupation in France,Franck, Albert and Pierre land on a mysterious island. Exhausted, they end up making camp on the beach, but at dawn, Pierre is awakened by an appalling cry which seems to emanate from somewhere at the heart of the island. With a feeling of impending dread gripping them, they decide to venture inland… Will they be ready to face the fabulous and terrible hidden secret of the Isle?”

I nearly missed this particular lil’ film… but luckily stumbled across the Trailer during one of my afternoon Internet surfing expeditions. It wasn’t hard to pick up on the feeling that it has a whole “Mysterious Island” meets “Lost” vibe about it. Oooohh…. and 1942… you just gotta know that means Nazis!! Neko just loves evil Nazi villains in her movies… soooo darn over-the-top and nasty. A wee bit of work located yours truly her own copy, thanks to a bit of shopping at Amazon France…. so let’s all get right to it and see how it played out.

Yes, yes… it’s time to “Read On”….

“Atrocious” (2010) – Spanish Horror

Time for another review… and as seems to be the case lately here at the ol’ Litterbox, it’s another Spanish horror effort, 2010′s shaky cam cinema “faux-cumentary”, “Atrocious”. Yep…. yet another of those “shaky cam” amateur film clip things….. but this one has more to be blamed on the recent success of “Paranormal Activity” than “The Blair Witch Project”. Still…. it had better be good….. I’m still traumatized by the eye wrenching I took watching Korea’s “Deserted House”.

Our synopsis? So here it goes: “On the 4th of April, 2010, the Quintanilla family were all found murdered in their country house in rural Spain. Police reported the existence of 37 hours of recorded evidence discovered at the scene of the grisly event. “Atrocious” shows the real found footage in all its entirety.

The Quintanilla family traveled to their old farm house in Sitges, where Christian and his sister Julie investigated the Legend of the ghostly “Girl in the Garraf Woods” for their Internet Blog on the Paranormal. Both of them used video cameras to record all of their investigations of the folktale. On the fifth day after their arrival they and their family were found dead under strange circumstances. “Atrocious” shows the last five days of the lives of Cristian Quintanilla and his family and also shows the strange situations that they lived in those moments, many of which remain unexplained even to this day.”

Hmmmm…. as you know, I’m not much of a fan of these “found footage” films. Sure… they can be made on the cheap… with unknown actors… and there’s a certain quirky charm to the general idea, but usually they also share that annoying look of home movies shot by drunken frat boys on Halloween. Can’t say that makes for epic cinematography… it usually gives you a good 70-90 minutes of badly out of focus, incomprehensible footage that…. for me at least… is more a pain to watch than it is to figure out what the heck is going on. Can they be scary? Yes… but it’s a tricky bit to manage with any real success. “The Blair Witch Project” being the first of these, will always be the big yardstick against which all the followers will be measured, and although imitation is the purist form of flattery, it’s not always a good enough reason to make a film either. Will this one stand out from the rest of those clones? Guess I’ll find out…..

“No-Do” (2009) aka “The Beckoning” aka “The Haunting” – Spanish Ghost/ Horror

Time for another Spanish horror effort… the 2009 film “No-Do” also confusingly know as either “The Beckoning” or “The Haunting” depending upon whether you are watching the UK or the US DVD release for this one. It’s popped up lots and lots of places… all under a myriad of names. I almost missed it here in the US… given that it got released under the title “The Haunting”…. which was already the name of two other earlier films. Grrrr!! Gotta hate when they do that… always confuses the crap outta me and makes tracking these lil’ films down so darn hard.

Our synopsis goes: “Francesca, a pediatrician who is dedicated to both motherhood and children, is married to another physician, Pedro. Following the birth of their new son, Francesca begins to suffer from postpartum depression. Following the advice of friend and psychiatrist Jean, the couple move to a new home away from the city. But Francesca’s obsession with her new baby begins to engulf her. Regardless of Pedro’s and Jean’s attempts to help her, she seems to drift dangerously close to madness. To make matters worse, she is starting to hear and see freakish unbelievable things. Furtive figures and ghostly shadows start tormenting her. The large house in which she and her family live alone seems to hide terrible secrets. Both the cellar and the attic are locked and barred to the family by the owners, and yet it is from both of these places that Francesca receives nocturnal visits that are slowly driving her mad.Is she truly losing her mind or is the old house haunted by restless spirits? What can be the truth?”

Sounds good… and lately Spain has been very good to this wee Catgirl, movie-wise, so I’m hoping they’ll score again with this tale of haunted houses and ghostly children, no matter what the heck title they give it… If you want to know if it’s worth a look yourself… why then by all means, “Read On” and find out for yourself.

“La Sombra Prohibida” (2011) – Spanish Horror

Time to finish the eerie journey your Favorite Catgirl took watching the Spanish horror goodie “La Herencia Valdemar” by taking a look at it’s recent sequel, “La Sombra Prohibida” aka “The Forbidden Shadow”. Lots of evil goings on… forbidden lore… twisted freaky monsters… the last film appearance of the great Paul Naschy.. and Cthulhu too!! Yep. It’s a “no brainer”… Neko is sooo there.

Our synopsis? It goes like this: “The disappearance of Luisa Llorente and the Curse of the Valdemars have become the events that will cause the fates of an eclectic group of people to cross and become entangled with the goals of a shadowy Cult of fanatics who seek to unleash on Earth that “Which Sleeps Eternal”… Cthulhu, most evil of the Great Old Ones. At last all will be revealed as the fragile veil between Reality and “the Beyond” is torn asunder by foolish Mortals. Some will live… some will die… when they are forced to look upon “The Forbidden Shadow”.

By now, you are probably wanting to get on with it and see if the wait for this one is worth it… or… as can sometimes happen, they blow it badly and fail utterly to finish the story properly. That’s happened before.. and it’ll happen again. Neko’s seen her share of movie catastrophes… but, please let’s not be the case this time!! Still… as always, the truth is in the watching, so let’s get on with it then… “Read On”!!

“La Herencia Valdemar” (2010) – Spanish Horror

It’s October!! Time for us to begin our annual celebration of all things spooky movie wise. So…. how about starting off with a Spanish horror film… featuring the weird fantastic mythos of classic horror author H.P. Lovecraft? Writing back in the 30′s, he was pretty much the Father of all the “Pulp Era” stories about such weird horrors from beyond Space & Time. He’s had lots of imitators over the years since then and every now and again, somebody tries to capture on film all those freaky “unspeakable things” he was always writing about in his stories….  usually without much real success. So… when I heard about a new Spanish horror film inspired by Lovecraft and his writings, called “La Herencia Valdemar”, I was initially somewhat skeptical.

Our synopsis, short and sweet, goes like this: “Luisa Llorente, an assessment expert of old properties, travels to the mysterious Victorian mansion of the Valdemar Family to conduct an inventory of property ownership for her company in preparations of selling the property. Once there, she soon discovers the grisly fate of the previous assessor only to then mysteriously disappear as well. Maximilian, the president of the company she works for, engages the services of private detective Nicholas Tramel to try and locate her. But he soon finds she is not the first disappearance in the old Valdemar mansion… nor will she likely be the last….”

Haunted houses, creepy family curses, and ancient Eldritch evil… sounds like I’ll be a happy Lil’ Catgirl alright. If… that is, they finally manage to actually get it right. Can’t say I’ve been too happy with a Lovecraft style horror film since Brian Yuzna’s “Reanimator” and his equally gooshy and horrifying “From Beyond”. Will this one catch the right “vibe” of overwhelming, mind numbing Cosmic Evil? Guess you’ll have to “Read On” and find out…..

“Troll Hunter” aka “Trolljegeren” (2010) – Norwegian Fantasy

It’s back to frosty Norway… home of the vikings… those big singing Valkyrie women…. Lutefisk… and Trolls. Big honking, man eating giant  Trolls. Yep…. Trolls… roaming all over the place doing whatever it is that Trolls do. Would your Favorite Catgirl Princess ever steer you wrong? Well… only if the latest fantasy film from that chilly Scandinavian locale has lied to me, that is… Hehehehe!! So this time out, I thought we’d take a look at “Troll Hunter” and ask ourselves that very question: “Trolls? Real or not?”

The synopsis? Well that goes like this: “A group of film students set out to make a documentary about a supposed bear poacher, Hans (Otto Jespersen). The students follow Hans through the wilderness of Western Norway to try to interview him, but he simply tells them to go away. They persist, and as they follow him into a forest, they see flashing lights and hear roars from something larger than a bear. Hans comes running back to his vehicle, screaming “Troll!” They all seek refuge in his car, as their own is now turned over with the tires eaten. Afterward, when the students ask if they can join Hans in his hunt and film it, he agrees. The next day, they follow Hans to film a document of his work as he sets out to kill all the trolls that have broken out of their territories, and to find out why they have started to break out now and not earlier.”

I saw the Trailer for this one some time back, and it’s been teasing me ever since… but now my wait is over. Just out on Region 1 DVD with those ever so helpful English subtitles I crave, it’s available from the good folks at Magnet for me to enjoy. I just know it’s probably on your list too… especially if you like the same sort of crazy films I do, so how about we all settle down and let a certain crazy movie addicted Catgirl tell you all about it?

“Le Village des Ombres” (2010) – French Horror/ Suspense

Back to France for some creepy movie goodness this week as I take a look at 2010′s French Horror/ Suspense film “Le Village des Ombres” aka “The Village of Shadows”. Oh yes…. more haunted curses and ghostly goings on for your Favorite Catgirl Princess. Yep…. just love those ghost stories, I do…..

The synopsis for this one goes like follows: “Emma, her sister, and her 7 friends are heading to the village of Ruiflec for a weekend getaway. Unknown to them, Ruiflec is a nearly forgotten village with a dark history. Traveling separately in two cars they soon arrive but then all the passengers of the first vehicle mysteriously disappear without a trace or any explanation at the village entrance. The others soon discover that Ruiflec is totally empty, all means of communication are dead and now…. for them…. there is no way out. Frantically searching for their lost friends, they must now fight an unknown terror to stay alive and get out of Ruiflec before they too begin to disappear, one by one… in the Village of Shadows.”

Now this one sounded promising. I missed the usual promotional Trailers and news on it until just stumbling across the DVD during one of my searches of Euro-horror films at Amazon. One viewing of the Trailer later, and I was pretty much convinced I needed to give it a try. Want to know it it might be something you need to see as well? Then by all means, “Read On” and let a certain goofy movie loving Catgirl Princess tell you all about it!!

“Prey” aka “Proie” (2010) – French Killer Pig Horror

Yep… your Favorite Catgirl just can’t seem to get enough of those wacky “killer piggy” movies… and by goodness, I’ve found another one! This time out, our cranky killer pigs hail from France…Yes, France… not exactly the country you think of when it’s time for some deadly “When Pigs Attack” kind of horror action, but hey… Lately though, the French have shown me they know a thing or two about zombies…. and mutants… and inbred cannibal clans running amok, so Neko’s willing to give them a chance on this idea. What have we got to lose?

Our synopsis? Well it goes like this: “Prey” tells the story of Nathan (Gregoire Colin) who is at a countryside retreat for a family reunion that he expects to be particularly contentious. Claire, his wife, has to announce her pregnancy to her family and their plans to leave for a new life in the city but there are also tough decisions that need to be made to prevent the family’s pesticides business from closing down. However, on the first night as the family gathers, a group of terrorized deer mysteriously throw themselves to their deaths into the farm’s electric fence. The men decide to venture into the surrounding forest to find the reasons for the animals odd behavior. Carrying a shotgun for the first time in his life and witnessing the growing tensions between the men of the family, Nathan soon discovers that hunting season is not over yet. Now they’ve become the prey.”

Killer Piggies…. Yep, your Favorite catgirl just couldn’t pass this one up. Will it live up to the promise of the films that came before? Maybe even reach the lofty staus of the aussie film “Razorback”? Guess there’s only one sure way to find out, and that’s for me to watch it, and my Gentle Visitors to “Read On”….

"The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec" (2010) – French Fantasy

Christmas brought me a surprising gift this year…A copy of the recent French Fantasy Adventure film by Luc Besson, “The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec”. Not from France mind you…. Their version lacked those ever so important English Subtitles your favorite Catgirl needs. Not from the UK…. although I imagine it’ll show up there soon…. This time out I managed to score a copy from…. of all places… Thailand. Not only with those English subtitles on board, but with an absolutely perfect English dubbed audio track as well! Say what!?! Nope…. I kid you not! What a find!

Our synopsis? It goes like this: “Paris, 1912. A 136 million year old pterodactyl egg within the museum of natural history hatches and then wreaks havoc upon the unprepared citizens of Paris, and it’s up to the famous journalist and world-class adventurer Adèle Blanc-Sec to investigate and find some way stop it before it devours the President of France! If this doesn’t complicate her life enough, Adele must also somehow complete her personal quest to find the mummy of Egyptian Pharaoh Ramases’s doctor in Egypt to save her little twin sister, Agathe from a coma caused by an unfortunate lawn tennis accident 5 years before.”

Now… I know it goes without saying, but…. There’s really only one thing Neko likes more in a film than her ghosts and zombies, and that’s movies with strong female heroes just like I daydreamed about and so dearly wanted to be when I was just a wee lil’ kitten. Could I wait for the inevitable Region 1 release for this one? Nope…. not on your life. But luckily for me the “Movie Faeries” are sometimes kind…. and this time they gave your Favorite Catgirl Princess quite the Christmas present indeed!! I can’t think of a more appropriate movie review to start off this New Year at the ol’ Litterbox.

Wanna know all about it? Then stop your dilly-dallying and “Read On”!!